the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
