the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
