wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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