the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Alive.
So much puke
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
