I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
