3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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