school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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