Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
