We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
