...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
