Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
