We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
