mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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