the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
