I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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