The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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