I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Someone came in the potted fern
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
