There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
