He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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