i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
