My underwear smells like fireworks.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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