you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
