After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
