i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
