i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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