They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
