i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
where are my eyebrows?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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