You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
