not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
