You work out of a Hotel?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
