I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
