He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
