I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
