party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
nutella sex= disaster
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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