At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
