went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
