RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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