just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
