You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Pooping to opera.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
