When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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