His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
