reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
