On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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