but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
