Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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