i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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