He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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