Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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