when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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