i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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