Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
operation harelip BJ is a go
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
