I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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