my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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