The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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