So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
